What does intimacy look and feel like? Does it look only like that or can it look like something else?
No matter how hard you might try to answer that question, the truth is that it is different for different people.
But as Jemille reveals, although it varies from person to person, intimacy is a warm reassurance, its own kind of therapy where you and the other person are feeding each other’s minds. And regardless of what some might say, it’s needed for survival. Point blank.
Intimacy is having an unspoken mental connection with someone (or yourself) that is very passionate, and almost like you’re reading each other’s minds. It’s about how it feels in the moment. For example, if I’m laying down with someone and I’m looking into their eyes deeply, I’ll be able to feel something.
It’s feels almost like a strong feeling of being physically tied and connected. It doesn’t always have to be sexual. It’s just the way you are. It’s a warm reassurance that the person is always there and you can tell them anything. It’s an understanding, a strength, and an openness. And for me, it’s essential because if I don’t have it, then I can’t physically or sexually be with someone. But in general and in life, it helps bond people together regardless of the kind of relationship they might have–platonic or romantic.
There are a lot of ideas about whether men are intimate. We can be. But it’s almost like a secret. Men bond with each other, and want to, but when it happens no one is allowed to really know. For example, it varies depending on the guys, but most men have bros and people they just connect with, even if it doesn’t perfectly conform to society’s standard of what a man is and should be. Men can and still are intimate, but it’s sometimes different from women.
Intimacy is a warm reassurance that the other person is always there and you can tell them anything. It’s an understanding, a strength, and an openness.
Although it may look differently for each person, what’s important is that everyone needs it. It’s almost like intimacy is its own form of therapy. You’re feeding someone else’s mind, but they are doing the same thing for you, and often through topics that people rarely talk about. If you don’t do that, you’ll go mentally insane.
To a degree, the path to intimacy is all about your state of being. It’s not just about doing, but being present. So, I’m trying to revisit and reconnect to the things I used to love and enjoy doing like art, talking about these types of things, and being brave enough to continue to figure out who I am. And not just discover, but embrace myself more.
I am sensitive. I am emotional. I’m a soft-hearted person who is curious and loves love. I have a deep and intense connection with the universe. I’m an open-minded and creative individual. Delving back into those things get me closer to my true self, instead of adapting all these other personality traits that others want in the name of hot sex or whatever the other person may want.
Intimacy looks differently for each person, but what’s important is that everyone needs it. It’s almost like intimacy is its own form of therapy. You’re feeding someone else’s mind, but they are doing the same thing for you.
I’m so focused on this for myself because if I had to go back and give advice to myself, I would say, stay true to the core person that you are. That’s who you really are. Don’t mask anything. Don’t manipulate and change yourself to be what other people want you to be, and who you are meant to grow as. Because once you start putting other people’s labels on you, you become something else, unrecognizable.
Once you start being something else, you begin to believe you are that, and you get lost. And if that isn’t really you, it is difficult to break that. So, I’m going back to the basics to rediscover and understand what it means to be happy to be myself. After all, if I don’t know who I am and I’m being what everyone else wants me to be, how can I be the man I’m meant to be?